


Cultural Exchange

by Sarren



Category: Keen Eddie
Genre: Case Fic, Established Relationship, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-28
Updated: 2008-09-28
Packaged: 2017-10-05 17:22:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarren/pseuds/Sarren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>'I sort of told someone that I wouldn't do this anymore.'</i></p><p>Pippin blinked disbelievingly at him. 'What, sleep with men, or sleep with me?'</p><p>'Yes.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cultural Exchange

In retrospect, the timing of the question could have been better.

'Do you reckon Johnson's gay?'

Eddie wiped the splatters of tea off his face with his sleeve, grimacing. Pippin waved a handkerchief at him. It looked like it was made out of silk or something. He took it doubtfully, and started dabbing at the damp stains on his shirt. The handkerchief was even monogrammed. Jesus.

'Sorry, dude,' Pippin said, laughing. 'You startled me. Why do you ask? Did he say something? Try to chat you up? What did he say? What did you say? You could have him for sexual harassment–'

'Whoa…I was just asking. Forget about it.'

Pippin looked at him, eyes narrowed. 'You asked me that before, when we first met.'

Eddie wished he'd never opened his big mouth as he watched realisation dawn on his partner's face. Before he could think of a smooth way to brush the whole thing off Pippin's expression shifted. He looked solemn, yet supportive. It even looked reasonably sincere, but Eddie really didn't feel like having That Talk today, thanks very much. 'Really. It's nothing. Finish your lunch and–'

'Do you fancy him? Is this what this is about?'

'No!'

'Cos it's fine if you do, obviously. I mean it's okay if you, you know, swing that way. I'm all in favour of alternate lifestyles.' He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and leered. 'Actually, it's a bit of a relief, if it wasn't for the way you and Fiona pull each other's pigtails I'd have thought you were asexual.'

'Shut up, Monty,' he hissed, looking furtively around. Most of the customers were watching the match going on the TV over the bar. But the group at the next table were definitely giving them funny looks. Perfect.

'I mean, how long have you been here now, a year? Unless you and Fiona are secretly shagging like minks behind Nigel's back, I'd guess the amount of sex you've been having is approximately none. Nada. Zilch. I'm right, aren't I?'

'The Lady of the Lift,' snapped Eddie, goaded beyond endurance.

Pippin's mouth dropped open. At least it seemed to have stopped him talking. That was the upside. On the not so up side, Monty was looking confused, and a little betrayed. 'You didn't. When did you even meet her?'

'She looked me up. Something about my name, apparently. I wasn't paying much attention, to be honest.' Eddie smirked. 'Except when she was moaning it, later.'

'Dude, that's not cricket.'

'What the hell does that mean?'

'It means she was mine, it was my name she should have been moaning.'

'My name, you mean!'

'Whatever. The point is, you took advantage of that poor girl's illness.'

'Oh, her thing for having sex in lifts, now you think there's something wrong with it.'

'What's wrong is that I'm not the one having mind-blowing elevator sex with a hot babe. But apparently, you are!'

'Look, it was just the once. Why are we even still talking about it?

Pippin sat back in his chair, smoothing his hair back behind his ear. 'Good point.' Then he leered at Eddie again and Eddie abruptly remembered how the whole conversation got started. He leaned his elbows on the table and put his head into his hands. 'Can we just, _not_go there again,' he groaned. 'Please.'

'Not a chance, dude.'

Eddie looked at him with his best puppy dog eyes. The card-carrying RSPCA member remained immune. Pippin was_ twinkling_ at him, for god's sake.

'So what exactly do you find so hot about our esteemed boss, then? His exotic good looks? His tight little arse? Ooh...that voice, like melting ice-cream over your nipples...'

Eddie dropped his head back into his hands. 'If I shoot you, will you shut up?' he mumbled.

Just then the contact they'd been waiting for collapsed into the empty seat beside Pippin. He looked like he'd been beaten up. He also looked pissed off and ready to talk.

Pippin already had his notebook out, pen poised.

Eddie breathed out a heavy unsubtle sigh of relief.

His partner raised an eyebrow at him. 'This conversation is not over, my friend,' Pippin said pointedly.

 

*******************************************************************

 

'Kylie's lost her knickers again.'

Eddie blinked at his partner. 'Huh?'

Pippin looked elegant and unflappable as usual, despite sitting sprawled at Eddie's feet.

'Kylie Minogue, it's a standing joke that her knickers keep getting nicked.'

'Who?'

'You've never heard of – no, of course you haven't. You Yanks only listen to Eminem and Snoopy Dog Doggy–'

'Snoop Doggy Dog.'

'You know what? I don't care. We've been here for,' Pippin checked his watch. 'Four hours and thirty-three minutes, my bum hurts like I've just had six of the best and I'm bloody starving.'

'Six of the best what?'

'What?'

'You said, 'my bum hurts like I've just had six of the best,' and I'm wondering what exactly you mean by that.'

'It's just an expression.'

'Sounds kinky,' Eddie taunted, and watched, amused as Pippin's fair skin flushed.

'No, you've got it all wrong. It's from school. Getting caned is referred to as getting "six of the best".'

'Oh right,' Eddie nodded. 'So it's not something you're into now, for instance.'

'No. Absolutely not.' He was even redder now.

Eddie grinned at him and nudged Pippin's leg with his foot. 'You sure about that, buddy? You seem kinda defensive.'

'No. I'm not. Defensive, that is.' Pippin looked at his watch again. 'So, did the guy happen to mention a time at all?'

'Smooth. Real smooth. You know he didn't.' Eddie glanced around the room. 'Is it just me, or do we get assigned all the really weird cases?'

'Weird? What do you mean?'

'We're staking out Madame Tussaud's on the basis of an anonymous tip. It's like, midnight, and you know, some of these things are just a bit too lifelike. I'm feeling pretty creeped out right now, I can tell you.'

Pippin glanced around and shivered. 'You know, you're right. Obviously, we're being punished.'

'Punished? For what?'

'I don't know! What have you done to piss off Johnson recently?'

'Nothing! Why do you assume it's my fault anyway?'

'Oh, I don't know. Possibly because you always manage to make an idiot out of yourself around him.'

'Me? I'm not the one who gave him a big-ass gift just because you were "thinking of him".'

'That was ages ago. You've had plenty of time to put your foot in it since.'

'He hates me. That's it!'

'He doesn't hate y– '

Eddie held up a hand. 'Did you hear that?'

'Hear what?'

'Shhh!'

Pippin opened his mouth again. Eddie lunged forward and covered his partner's mouth with his hand, listening intently for the noise he thought he'd heard to repeat itself. Absently, he catalogued the deep indrawn breath Pippin attempted to make, the way Pippin's hand had come up to grasp his wrist. Eddie eased off on the pressure, so that his hand merely rested against curiously soft lips, and moist air puffed against his palm.

A couple of minutes passed with no further sound. Eddie wondered if he'd imagined it. He looked down at Pippin, who was staring up at him with wide, wide eyes, and Eddie finally noticed their respective positions. About to back off and apologise, he abruptly realised that the breath against his hand was coming quick and uneven, and that Pippin's pupils were dilated, the bright blue only a thin ring surrounding them.

Experimentally he edged closer, so that Pippin had to tilt his head further back to maintain eye contact. From the corner of his eye he saw Pippin swallow convulsively, and with his free hand Eddie lightly traced along the length of his partner's throat.

Pippin whimpered quietly and the moment shattered. Eddie's head jerked up and he scanned the room, alarmed that he'd let his guard down so completely. Only the eerie mannequins stared back at him. Eddie allowed himself to relax slightly. Letting go of Pippin, he sat back in his chair.

Pippin blinked and appeared to come back to himself. 'False alarm?' he asked, clearing his throat when his voice came out husky.

'Apparently.' Still on edge, Eddie patted his holstered gun for reassurance.

'Good. Good.' Pippin was looking everywhere in the room except at him. Eddie noted that his lips looked wet and his face was rather flushed.

Oh yeah.

'So how come you didn't tell me?' he smirked.

'Huh? Tell you what?' said Pippin, seemingly distracted, still scanning the room.

'You know exactly what I'm talking about. I spill my guts to you, I think I deserve the same, whatchammachallit, courtesy from you?'

'Oh, right. That. You know, technically you didn't spill your guts. You haven't actually told me anything at all. I made an inference, you neither confirmed nor denied it. So, technically, I don't actually know anything at all.'

'Quit stalling. The way I see it, you know about me, and I don't know shit about you.'

'Well, obviously, you do now.'

'Not really. Like, is it guys in general, or am I special?'

'Don't flatter yourself, mate.'

'Don't lie to me. Something just happened here.'

'Something. Yes. I like sex. A lot. And mostly I like sex with women, because I like women. I like the way they smell, the way they're soft, and have curves – '

'See, it's the 'mostly' part that's interesting me right now.'

'Mostly, yes. Did I mention I like sex? And boy parts can be just as much fun to play with, if I'm in the mood for something different. I do like different. Exciting. Maybe a bit rougher…'

'You like rough stuff?'

'Nothing fancy. Nothing too risky. But yeah. Being pinned down, knowing that somebody else has complete control. It can be liberating.'

'Liberating.'

'Have you never let someone do this to you? Have total control over your body. To know that you are dependant on their will, their whim?'

Eddie's cock evidently liked the picture Pippin's smooth British accent was painting. He rubbed suddenly sweaty palms against the legs of his jeans. 'Sounds a bit too risky to me.'

'It's intense, I'll give you that.' Pippin considered. 'Oh, the possibility of getting hurt, you mean? Well, obviously it would have to be with somebody you trusted, somebody who knew what they were doing.'

'And I suppose you do.'

'As a matter of fact, I do. Why? You interested?'

'No.'

Pippin looked sceptical. 'No!' Eddie said, more insistently.

'If you say so, mate. If you change your mind, let me know.'

'Not gonna happen.'

'Uh huh.'

Eddie opened his mouth to explain just how wrong his partner was, and out of the corner of his eye he saw the door handle start to turn. He reached slowly for his gun.

Pippin looked at him enquiringly and Eddie put a finger to his lips and then pointed to the door. Pippin nodded and moved soundlessly to the wall, flattening himself against it, elegantly poised, his gun held like an extension of his hand.

Eddie leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs, one arm casually draped across his lap, his gun obscured by the fall of his jacket.

The door opened, slowly, and a black-clad figure took one step into the room. It caught sight of Eddie and froze.

Eddie took in the shiny Lycra bodysuit and the white-painted face at a glance, and looked at the man's eyes. He watched as the shock shifted to determination, and his hand tightened on his gun.

And Pippin smoothly stepped into line of sight, his gun pointing directly between the man's eyes. The bad guy froze again, and raised his hands.

Eddie waved at him to get his attention and the man's eyes reluctantly left the gun and looked at him. Eddie smiled broadly.

'Hi. I'm Eddie. How do you like me so far?'

 

**************************************************************

 

Johnson looked up from the report, one eyebrow raised enquiringly. 'A performance artist disabled the security system at Madame Tussaud's,' he said, his tone one of someone who is no longer surprised by anything. 'Really?'

'Uh, yes sir,' Pippin answered, rocking on his heels slightly.

'Well, we think so, sir,' Eddie corrected. 'We can't actually confirm that, as the guy won't talk.'

'He won't talk?'

'At all.'

'So you don't know this for a fact then. Or why he was breaking in there in the first place?'

'Uh, no, sir.' Pippin stepped forward. 'But taking into consideration his rather odd attire– '

'–and the fact that he's making like a stature of a martyr or something–'

'–leads us to conclude that he is, in fact, a performance artist.'

'A nut-job performance artist.'

'Well, you have to be a bit strange to want to do it anyhow.' Pippin nodded knowledgeably. 'I mean who in their right mind wants to stand around for hours without moving a muscle? And have you seen some of the positions they put themselves into? Not comfortable. Not comfortable at all. And why do it? Some new age arty-farty rubbish–'

'Inspector Pippin!'

'Yes, sir?'

'Have you quite finished?'

'God, I hope so,' Eddie interjected. Johnson stared at him. 'Sorry, it's been a long week, I just wanna go home and sleep for twelve hours.'

'Good idea, Detective. Take a day – no, make it two days off, both of you. You look like you need it.'

Pippin's face lit up. He grabbed Eddie's arm and hustled him out of the Superintendent's office.

'What's the rush?' Eddie complained.

'Nothing. Nothing. I just didn't want you to say anything that might screw this up. Two days off! Did you hear the man? Two whole days.'

'Your faith in me is touching.' Eddie dragged his heels, smiling conspiratorially at the demure secretary behind the desk. 'Hi, Miss Moneypenny.'

'Hello, Detective,' she replied, her voice smoky with the promise of sex.

'Got any plans for the weekend?'

And, just like usual, Eddie felt his reality start to skew. He went willingly.

Miss Moneypenny stood up gracefully; a breeze making her tousled hair flutter and her tiny silk kimono cling to every curve of her body. She eased up against Eddie and smiled coyly. 'A hot threesome involving silk ties and a great deal of body oil,' she breathed. Eddie's eyes glazed as his body reacted. He watched, bemused, as she swayed into Superintendent Johnson's office and around the corner of his desk. She leaned over, her barely constrained breasts brushing his shoulder, and whispered something in his ear. Johnson smiled intimately at her, and then they both looked directly at Eddie. Eddie started to pant slightly as his vision changed. Johnson and Moneypenny were lying on silky looking white sheets, looking like something straight out of the very best porn. They were gorgeous, the contrast between the pale, delicate female body, and the muscled, chocolate-coloured sex god made his mouth water and he whimpered helplessly as the fantasy figures smiled encouragingly at him. Moneypenny beckoned seductively.

Pippin was tugging insistently on his arm, saying something. Eddie blinked to dispel the vision. 'What?'

'Dude! Are you even listening? I _said_, I need to go pee.'

'Yeah, sure.' Eddie allowed Pippin to drag him along the hall. 'I'll wait outside.'

Pippin looked at him meaningfully. 'Eddie.' Eddie looked at him curiously. Pippin looked around to see if anyone was paying attention. 'I need you to come with me.'

'Why? Are we twelve year old girls all of a sudden?'

'I'll tell you in a sec.'

He ducked into the bathroom, and Eddie followed reluctantly. As soon as Eddie was clear of the door, Pippin slammed it shut and flipped the lock.

'Wha–?' Eddie started to say but Pippin got up close and personal, his hand closing around Eddie's erection.

'Dude,' Pippin breathed.

'Hang on,' Eddie protested.

'Yes?' Pippin asked. His hand tightened, and he licked a stripe from Eddie's collar to his ear. Eddie's head tilted back automatically to allow better access.

'We shouldn't do this,' he managed.

'Of course not. It's a very bad idea,' Pippin agreed. 'Do you have any idea how hot you look when you're turned on, though? Really, you shouldn't even look at Ross, it's like, Pavlovian with you, isn't it?' Pippin's hand was groping Eddie shamelessly, his mouth nuzzling Eddie's ear even as he mumbled, 'and it's getting worse. That erection you were sporting I'm sure was visible clear across the hall. Obviously, it was my duty as your partner to spare you the embarrassment of having to walk around in public like that.'

'So what you're saying is, you're just doing your duty by getting me off, is that it?'

'You could put it that way. Or you could think of it as mates helping each other out if you like.'

'Mates,' Eddie gasped. Pippin's hand had managed to undo his pants and was now working his bare flesh. Eddie's head thudded against the wall. Pippin was crowding close and he finally brought his arms up and rested his hands on Pippin's shoulders, gasping continuously as he got closer to the edge. God, it had been a while. Then Pippin growled and lightly bit his throat and Eddie whimpered and came. Pippin laughed softly and held him until he started to soften, then stepped back, looking curiously at his wet hand. He looked up, and Eddie watched, dazed, as Pippin lapped at the cream on his fingers. 'Oh my god,' he got out.

'Yes?' Pippin grinned wickedly at him.

Slowly, Eddie put himself back together. He watched Pippin cross to the sinks and wash his hands. 'What about you?'

Pippin turned and leaned against the counter. He smiled, a wicked, thoroughly dirty smile, and gestured expansively towards his groin. 'Be my guest,' he invited.

Well, it was only fair. He stalked towards his partner, watching the smile fade and the blue eyes widen as Eddie invaded his personal space. With Pippin perched like that, Eddie had the edge in height for a change and he took advantage of it, sliding a hand into the blond hair and taking a firm hold, tilted the head back firmly, watching as Pippin's eyes slid nearly shut and his mouth fell open in a sigh. Eddie kissed him, hard, taking control, prepared to use a bit of strength if Pippin moved, but Pippin didn't move, Pippin melted against him with a breathy moan, and Eddie smiled against his mouth as he worked a hand inside Pippin's pants and grasped him firmly. For all Pippin's legendary boasting it didn't take long, Pippin's whole body going limp against him, head on Eddie's shoulders, panting into his neck.

'God, that was good,' Pippin mumbled into his neck.

Eddie had to agree.

'Why didn't we think of this before?' Pippin said, after another minute. 'Clearly, we're morons,' he exclaimed, straightening up and tidying himself away. 'We could have been doing this all along. All that time wasted!'

Eddie couldn't help it, he laughed. 'You say that as though you've been sexually deprived. It's not like you're not getting enough sex as it is.'

'Dude,' Pippin said, shocked. 'There's no such thing as too much sex.'

The door rattled, and then someone knocked. They both stared at it, then at each other.

'Shit,' Eddie said.

Pippin made sure that his hair was in place in the mirror, then laid one hand on Eddie's shoulder. 'Never explain,' he said solemnly, pasting an innocent expression on his face as he turned to unlock the door.

Eddie tried to look cool as he brushed past the two officers waiting outside. They looked at him with raised eyebrows.

'So,' Pippin said, as he fell into step with him. 'Two days off. Whatever shall we do?'

 

*****************************************************************

 

'Detective Arlette. A moment of your time.'

'Hey, Nathaniel. Sir.' Eddie smiled cheerfully at his boss. 'What can I do you for?'

Johnson did not return the smile. 'Take a seat.'

'Okay,' he drawled. Uh oh. Seemed like lately, that Superintendent Johnson had been more relaxed towards him, as though he wasn't just waiting for him to fuck up. He'd even seen hints that the man might grudgingly quite like him. There was no sign of any of that now.

'I'll get right to the point. I've been hearing…rumours.'

'Rumours, sir?'

'Rumours.'

'What kind of rumours, sir?'

'Rumours about you.' Johnson looked uncomfortable now, 'and Inspector Pippin.'

Uh oh. What had Pippin been up to? 'Ah, sir? If this concerns Inspector Pippin, shouldn't he be here for this, too?'

Eddie watched Johnson tidied the pile of papers sitting on the desk in front of him, his eyes flickering between them and Eddie. Something about the way Johnson wasn't quite meeting his eyes, and Eddie's stomach clenched. 'Oh, I get it,' he said. He thought he probably should be careful now, try for damage control, but he felt faintly sick – Johnson's discomfort was obvious and Eddie was disappointed, and not just because he liked him, had hoped maybe…

He stood up and placed his hands carefully on the desk. He leaned forward, not surprised when Johnson leaned back, his hands steepled in front of him, as though in contemplation.

'Well?' he asked, recklessly deciding to have it out.

'While you are assigned to Scotland Yard,' Johnson said stiffly, 'a certain measure of decorum is mandatory.'

'I can't believe this. I'm being called onto the carpet over _rumours_ I've been what, un-decorous? I thought you guys had laws against this sort of crap?'

'You're not being, as you say, "called onto the carpet",' Johnson said, staring past his shoulder. 'This is merely an informal chat.'

'This is bullshit!' Eddie said, suddenly angry. 'If you have a problem with me, just say so.'

'Detective Arlette.' Johnson visibly hesitated, meeting his eyes for the first time. 'Eddie. I do not have a problem with you. Or your sexuality.' Now Johnson was looking at Eddie in that focused way he sometimes did, which Eddie never knew how to interpret. For some reason it never failed to make his heart rate pick up. He swallowed, and sank back into his chair. He wanted time to process – it was difficult to think clearly under that intense gaze.

The atmosphere in the room had changed. Johnson was obviously waiting for Eddie to say something.

Awkwardly, he tried to explain. 'Monty and I are just friends.'

'Really?' Johnson drawled.

'Yes.' Eddie leaned forward. 'Really.'

One dark eyebrow arched disbelievingly.

'Okay, friends with benefits.' Shit. He'd just outed himself _and_ Pippin. Pippin was going to go ballistic. And if Johnson wasn't on the level…' He felt his gut clench with anticipation.

'I see.'

Well, Johnson didn't look like he was about to slap a suspension on them anyway, but strangely Eddie didn't feel any better. Johnson's face was impassive, but somehow he looked like he'd withdrawn.

'No you don't,' he added hastily. 'It's just sex, it doesn't mean anything.'

If anything, Johnson's face looked even more carved-in-stone.

'I don't mean that, exactly.'

'You don't have to explain anything, Detective.'

'I want to.' Eddie willed Johnson to listen to him. 'Look, you know Pippin. He's a great guy. We're pals. I like him a lot, but he's not the serious type. We're just, you know, having some fun.'

'I think I've heard enough.' Johnson seemed to look right through him. 'You may leave.'

'We'll stop.' What was he saying?

'What?'

'I tell ya, it's over. Right now.' Eddie willed the other man to believe him.

'Even so…' Johnson's face had lost its impassive look. He looked uncertain and a little apprehensive, Eddie thought, though most people wouldn't be able to tell. But_ he_ could.

Taking a risk, he got up and moved around the desk to perch on the edge next to his boss, careful to keep a discreet distance between them, ever aware of the possibility of being observed.

'Nathaniel?'

Johnson was looking at him searchingly. Eddie didn't know what else to say. He thought he knew what conversation they carefully weren't having, but Johnson wasn't giving much away and he absolutely couldn't risk screwing it up now.

Just as it occurred to him that they'd been staring at each other silently for several minutes now, the intercom activated. 'Your 12.30 appointment are on their way in, sir. They'll be here momentarily.'

And just like that Johnson's face resumed its usual imperturbable expression. 'Thank you, Carol,' he said into the speaker. He leaned back. 'Thank you, Detective, that will be all.'

'Yeah, well.' Eddie got to his feet. 'I'll see you later then, I guess.' He sketched a salute and ambled towards the door.

'Detective,' Johnson said quietly.

He half turned. 'Yeah?'

'I look forward to it.'

Eddie smiled widely at Moneypenny on his way past. She smiled encouragingly at him and said something, but it didn't really register.

He was thinking about the smile on Nathaniel's face.

 

***************************************************************

 

Eddie wasn't really worried about how his partner would react, but you never really knew with these things. He heard the key turn in the lock and drained his beer. Then he put the empty bottle on the coffee table and settled back on the sofa. Moments later, Pippin straddled his lap, the move practiced, seductive. His tie was off and his shirt hung open. His fingers reached for the buttons on Eddie's shirt and Eddie stilled them, holding Pippin's hands still.

'I can't.'

Pippin just raised an eyebrow knowingly and shifted in Eddie's lap. Eddie felt himself hardening despite his good intentions and moved his hands to Pippin's hips, holding him still.

'I sort of told someone that I wouldn't do this anymore.'

Pippin blinked disbelievingly at him. 'What, sleep with men, or sleep with me?'

'Yes.'

'You're not joking.' Pippin didn't sound annoyed, just resigned. Eddie shrugged apologetically. Pippin slid off him and slumped beside him on the couch. 'Go on then, tell me all the gory details. I think I deserve to know, considering you're leaving me hanging, here.' Pippin adjusted his pants more comfortably to accommodate his erection.

'Hey, feel free to take care of it. I'll go make us coffee or something.' He started to get up.

Pippin waved vaguely in his direction. 'Thanks, but no thanks. I'm sort of losing the mood here.'

Eddie settled back into the corner of the sofa. 'I really am sorry,' he said. 'I didn't count on this happening.'

'What? Count on what happening? Come on, mate.' Pippin patted him on the knee. 'Tell Uncle Monty all about it.'

'Firstly, eww. Secondly, don't get mad.'

'Why would I get mad?' Pippin sat up suddenly and looked at him, his eyes wide. 'Dude. What have you done?'

'Well…I sortaaccidentlytoldJohnsonthatwewerefoolingaround.'

'OH MY GOD.' Pippin leapt to his feet and started pacing, running nervous fingers through his blond hair. 'Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.'

Eddie winced. 'Yeah, I'm really sorry about that, but I'm pretty sure it's all okay.'

'Oh my god, I'm ruined. Johnson will have me demoted or transferred and everyone will find out why and it'll get back to my father and…'

'Calm down. It's not that bad.'

'I'll have to go abroad til the scandal dies down.'

Eddie got up and took hold of Pippin's shoulders, forcing him to stop moving. 'Monty. Stop. It's okay.'

Pippin looked at him, disbelievingly. 'Is it? How is it okay? Cos I really want to know how your deliberately ruining my life is okay. Go on, tell me.'

'Johnson's not going to say anything.' Eddie rubbed the tense arms reassuringly, feeling Pippin slump slightly. 'I promise.'

Pippin turned away from him and collapsed back onto the sofa. 'Okay, let's say I believe that you believe that. How can you be sure?'

'Cos I kinda think that we've got something going.'

'You and Johnson? Superintendent Johnson? The man we work for?'

'Yeah. We had this conversation. Well, we sorta did, a lot of it was unspoken. But I'm pretty sure he wants to…get together. Or something.'

'Are you sure you didn't imagine it?'

'What, you think I'm delusional now?'

'It's just incredible, that's all. I'd go so far as to say mind-boggling. You're seriously telling me that Superintendent Johnson, our boss, a man with a stick so far up his ass he'd need surgery to remove it, you're telling me that he propositioned you?'

'NO! All I said was, he seemed...open...to the idea.'

'Uh huh.' Pippin looked sceptical. 'Open, how?'

'You know, maybe - get to know each other better, see if there's something there worth pursuing, that sort of thing.'

'Really? Are you sure?

'Well, it was all subtle, like, but I got what he meant.'

'You're positive? You're talking about a high-ranking police officer getting involved in a homosexual affair with a subordinate officer. Excuse me if I'm finding it all a bit hard to take in.'

'What, so you think I'm just imagining things? That it's just wishful thinking on my part?' Eddie struggled to keep his voice even.

'Oh God, no. Of course the man fancies you. He barely takes his eyes off you, and as for the crap you get away with? Let's just say, anyone else would be back pounding the beat by now. I just never thought he'd have the balls to go through with it.'

'Really?'

Pippin smiled at him, finally seemed to relax a bit. 'You should just see your face, mate. You've got it bad, haven't you?'

'So maybe I like him. A lot. You knew this already. We're not having a problem with this now, are we?'

'Problem? No. No. I'm happy for you, really. I'm just concerned. For you. And Johnson. You realise that if you go ahead with this, if anyone finds out, he can kiss that promotion he's so in love with good-bye, don't you?'

'That sucks.'

'That's life, my friend, and you know it. And you can bet he does too. I just don't want you to get hurt if he changes his mind somewhere down the track.'

'I've thought about that. But what can ya do?' Eddie shrugged. 'I really like him.'

'Then you should definitely go for it.'

'And we're cool?'

'Of course, why wouldn't we be?'

'You know.'

'What, because we've been fooling around some?' Pippin made a dismissive noise. 'It's been fun, but I get the feeling Johnson's the possessive type and I don't want to wind up on his bad side. Besides.' He leaned forward and gazed at Eddie earnestly. 'You're my partner. And I want you to be happy. And if Tall, Dark and Repressed is what you think will make you happy, then I will support you one hundred percent. Because we're mates.' Pippin held out his arms. Eddie hugged him hard, oddly touched by Pippin's blessing. Then Pippin moved against him, suggestively. 'One for the road?' he asked hopefully.

Eddie held him at arms length. 'What? No!'

Pippin looked resigned, but not surprised. 'Because you told him it was over.'

'Well, yeah.'

Pippin laughed at him. 'It was worth a try. And by the way? That is so cute.'

Eddie hit him with a sofa cushion.

 

*********************************************

 

'How long has it been now?'

'About half an hour longer than the last time you asked.'

'I'm bored.'

'I'm okay with bored. Beats getting tortured or shot, for example.'

'You have a point.'

'Thank you.'

'So. You and Johnson doing it yet?'

'I don't suppose there's any way we could not talk about this?'

'What, you got something better to do? We could play I Spy again.'

'Over my dead body.'

'Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall,' Pippin sang softly.

'Jeez, all right!'

One of their captors looked over at them, hand fondling his gun nervously..

'Shush, do you want another black eye?' Pippin murmured urgently. Although,' he continued in a considering tone, 'then you'd have a matched set.'

'No.'

'No?'

'No, we're not.'

'Why not?' Pippin looked at him pityingly. 'You're waiting for him to make the first move, aren't you?'

'Well, yeah, I guess.'

'It'll never happen, you know that, right?'

Eddie put his head back against the wall, wishing he could scratch the itch on his wrist, though all things considered, they weren't too badly off. After the first day, when their captors realised the logistics of restroom visits, their wrists had started being tied in front of them. Eddie was still hoping that the guards'd get lazy and he'd get a chance to get the ropes on his ankles untied but so far, no luck. These guys were professionals.

'You could join his self-defence class.' Pippin waggled his eyebrows. 'Ask for private lessons, get him to show you some _moves_, if you know what I mean.'

'Yeah, no.' Though the idea did have a certain appeal, but he figured Johnson was classier than that. 'Or I could just invite him out for a drink.'

'If it's that easy, why haven't you done it already?'

Eddie stared at the ceiling. 'Cos it's not that easy.'

'You know how it's going to be, don't you? Only meeting in secret, in out-of-the-way places, or his flat, making sure no-one's watching when you go in.' Pippin's voice had lost the teasing note.

Eddie turned his head to look at him. The expression on Pippin's face was serious.

'I know.' He did. He'd thought about it a lot.

'Are you sure?' Pippin nudged his foot with his own. 'Are you sure you want a relationship like that?'

'It's not ideal.'

'But he's worth it?'

'I think so.' Eddie's nose was itching now. He raised his bound hands to scratch it, drawing the attention of two of the guards. He put them back in his lap and the men went back to cleaning their guns. 'I won't know til I try, will I?'

'Guess not.' Pippin paused. 'What do you reckon he's like, then?' he said, insinuatingly.

'What?'

'You know, in bed.' Pippin smiled dreamily, as though he were imagining it. 'All that self-control. The attention to detail. Mmm.'

Great, now he was imagining it too, despite the sore ass from sitting on a cold stone floor and the weird pins-and-needly feeling in his limbs from being essentially immobile for…it must be nearly three days now. He shifted his knees up a bit to hide his body's reaction, and settled for glaring at Pippin, who was now describing in gleeful detail what he imagined Johnson looked like without clothes on, and from the amount of detail he was going into, Eddie thought maybe Pippin had thought about it more than he was letting on.

There was a knock. Everyone looked up. Two of the guards moved to either side of the door. Another one ducked behind the desk. The fourth guy stood directly in front of it, gun pointed unwaveringly. One of the men at the door said something. There was a response, muffled, and for the first time they showed signs of uncertainty. Eddie wondered what was going on. They'd clearly been waiting for something. Maybe it was going down now. He worked at the ropes on his ankles, since no-one was paying attention to them now. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Pippin doing the same

One of the guards slid back the lock and eased the door open. And then suddenly everything went to hell. Something heavy was flung through the door, hitting the guy with the gun, knocking it aside as the shot went wild, ricocheting off something metal and burying itself in the wall above Eddie's head. He ducked instinctively, working at the knots, trying to keep an eye on what was happening. He got an impression of a tall figure, all in black, and then there was punching and kicking and at one point the guy behind the desk fired a shot and then the table was upended and between the shots echoing and the dust from plaster raining down on them Eddie couldn't keep track of what was happening.

He finally got the last knot undone and pulled the ropes off as quickly as he could, and staggered to his feet. He looked up. Superintendent Johnson stood in front of him, breathing heavily. There was a wild look in his eyes.

'Wow,' he heard Pippin say, sounding genuinely awed. Eddie looked around Johnson. All four of the villains were lying still on the ground amidst shattered furniture and equipment. Eddie hoped they were just unconscious.

He looked back at the man looming in front of him. Johnson was still staring at him, eyes devouring him.

'Hey,' Eddie said, in acknowledgement.

Johnson took a step closer. Eddie looked up at him, feeling his heart start to beat wildly at the intensity radiating from the man.

'Sorry, excuse me,' Pippin said, next to them, holding up his bound wrists. Still staring at Eddie, Johnson held out a knife.

'Um, could you…?' Johnson's eyes slid to Pippin's wrists and he made short work of slicing through the ropes. 'Thanks,' Pippin said. 'I'll just, um…' He waved in the direction of the men on the floor. Eddie watched him bend over one of the men and check for a pulse, then straighten up with a relieved expression on his face. He turned, and Eddie lost sight of him for a moment behind Johnson, then he reappeared holding some more rope.

Eddie figured he should probably go help Pippin. He held up his own wrists in front of him. 'Nathaniel?'

'I thought you were dead,' Nathaniel said, his eyes fixed on Eddie's face. He took another step closer. Eddie's hands were touching his chest.

'I'm not.'

'For three days. Do you know how that made me feel?' Nathaniel's voice was eerily calm.

Eddie looked at his eyes, which were anything but calm. 'You saved me,' Eddie said, soothingly.

Nathaniel's face contorted. 'I thought you were dead,' he repeated, a strange sort of insistence in his voice.

'I'm not,' Eddie repeated. Since him being untied didn't seem to be happening any time soon, he slowly raised his arms and looped them over Nathaniel's neck, bringing their bodies into full contact. Now Eddie could feel the fine shudder that wracked Nathaniel's body. 'I'm fine,' he said. 'See?'

Nathaniel seemed to crumble. His arms went around Eddie and he clutched him tightly. 'Whoa,' Eddie said breathlessly. 'Take it easy, big guy.'

Nathaniel stood still, his face buried in Eddie's neck. Eddie wished his hands were free so that he could hug him properly, but as it was all he could do was stand there, bracing himself against the weight of the man leaning heavily on him.

They stood like that for several minutes. In his peripheral vision Eddie watched Pippin dragging bound, unconscious bodies out of the room, saw him casting them worried looks.

'Hey,' Eddie said finally. 'You okay there, Nathaniel?'

Nathaniel raised his head and looked at Eddie. The terrified look had disappeared, replaced by something burning. Eddie felt a thrill of something, half arousal, half fear, race through him.

'Please,' he heard himself say, in an embarrassingly small voice.

Something flared in Nathaniel's eyes then. 'Eddie,' he muttered, his voice strangled, and then his arms tightened and he seemed to swoop down and Eddie was being kissed and Eddie thought, _thank god,_ and _finally._

Then somehow they were up against the wall, Nathaniel pushing against him urgently, hard against him, his whole body vibrating against him and Eddie was helpless, crushed between Nathaniel and the wall, unable to move his arms except to try to pull Nathaniel closer. Nathaniel's urgency was catching and they were thrusting against each other blindly, Nathan's erection digging into his stomach. Nathaniel was muttering something against his neck. Eddie forced himself to pay attention. Nathaniel was making no sense, he was mumbling _I want, I want,_ over and over and then he was scrabbling at Eddie's trousers. Eddie felt himself flush all over with heat. His mouth was dry and he said, he tried to say, _oh yes_ and his pants were somehow at his ankles. He managed to yank one leg free, kissing Nathaniel as he lifted his leg and then there was a strong hand under his thigh, lifting him. He could feel Nathaniel, bare against him, pushing at him, pushing at his balls and he said _fuck me_ and Nathaniel moaned, he moaned _I'll hurt you_ and Eddie thought maybe he was past caring and he opened his mouth to say so -

'Don't mind me,' a voice said mildly, and Eddie opened his eyes and he couldn't believe it, Pippin was there. Nathaniel had frozen in place. Eddie thought he should probably be embarrassed, but Pippin was holding up a familiar looking tube. 'I just thought you might want this,' Pippin said, and Eddie laughed – only Pippin could be captured by bad guys and held prisoner for days and still manage to have lube on him.

Nathaniel was glaring at Pippin, making no move to take the lube, and Eddie was sure for a second that this was the end, right here, and he didn't want it to be, dammit, he wanted to get fucked, _right now_ and he shifted deliberately against Nathaniel. Nathaniel looked back at him, and Eddie said 'please,' not even meaning to sound as breathy and needy as he did, and like that, Nathan was back with him. He reached out without taking his eyes off Eddie and then Pippin said, 'right, I'll just be outside, then, keeping watch,' and Eddie said 'thanks' and Pippin said, 'right, then, going now', sounding reluctant and Nathaniel growled 'out', and then somehow there were fingers, slippery and cold and so good and Eddie's world narrowed to the feel of fingers working in him and then they were gone. He moaned at the loss but then he was lifted and he wrapped his legs around Nathaniel's waist as he was impaled. He couldn't see anything except Nathaniel's face, his eyes; he couldn't hear anything except the roaring in his ears and the rasp of Nathaniel's breath; he couldn't feel anything except the bricks against his back as Nathaniel thrust into him, and the cock inside him driving him out of his mind.

When the world came back into focus, they were still in the same position. Nathaniel was shuddering against him, pulsing into him, Eddie could feel him and Nathaniel was muttering something Eddie couldn't make out, muffled against his neck. The brickwork was digging into him a bit now, and his legs were cramping and starting to shake from being held so long in an unaccustomed position and he became aware also suddenly that his wrists were sore, were very sore in fact, probably abraded but painful from being held at a weird angle for so long. But Nathaniel was warm against him, warm and panting and still holding him up effortlessly and Eddie didn't want him to let go. Only when he felt Nathaniel start to shift back did he put one leg down to the ground, finding his footing, barely registering the twinge as Nathaniel slipped out of him.

'Oh dear god,' Nathaniel muttered, sounding more like himself. Eddie hoped he wasn't going to freak out. He went to lift his arms away and realised he couldn't, they didn't want to work.

'My arms are numb,' he said and Nathan looked at him, horrified, and gently took hold of them and ducked out of their circle. He found his knife and cut Eddie free, frowning in alarm as they fell uselessly to his sides.

'I'm sorry,' Nathaniel muttered as he took hold of one arm and started to massage circulation back into it.

Eddie grinned widely at him. 'Are you kidding? That was _unbelievable. _'

'I'm finding it hard to believe myself,' Nathaniel said wryly, swapping arms. Eddie shook out the pins and needles in the one he'd finished working on.

'Ah, guys?' Pippin stuck his head around the door. 'Oh, good, you're finished,' he said. 'Back up's about to arrive.' He smirked at Eddie. 'You might want to pull up your pants.'

Nathaniel took a step away and put himself back together. He wiped a hand across his mouth, looking surprised. Eddie figured he probably had a pretty good case of beard-burn. Just as well his skin was so dark. 'You had back up on the way?' he asked, flexing his fingers. Still painful, but working again. 'Why didn't you wait?' He reached down and pulled up his trousers, struggling to get them done up. His fingers still weren't working too good.

Nathaniel brushed his hands away and zipped him up. 'It was taking too long,' he said, not looking at Eddie.

'There's gonna be questions.'

'I know.'

Voices sounded outside. Nathaniel visibly straightened. Eddie put a hand on his arm, then let it drop as Nathaniel looked at it impassively. 'Will I see you later?' Eddie asked, hoping he didn't sound pathetic.

Nathaniel's expression softened. 'I'd like that.' He hesitated. 'This wasn't how I envisaged our first time,' he said. 'I'd like to make it up to you. Over dinner?'

Eddie grinned. Then he took a step and his assorted aches and pains suddenly made themselves known. 'Maybe a massage?' he suggested hopefully, trying not to wince.

Nathaniel smiled at him. 'I think that can be arranged.'

At the door, Eddie had a thought strike him and he stopped so suddenly that Nathaniel nearly walked into him.

'Shit. What happened to the lube?'

They stared at each other, eyes wide, as the forensics team came in, then turned to stare in unison at the conspicuously bare ground by the wall.

From behind them, a voice said, sotto voce, 'It's under control.'

They turned around. Pippin grinned at them, rocking on his heels.

Nathaniel stared at him. 'I don't want to know.' He put his shoulders back and turned to survey the work going in the room. 'You two need medical attention.'

Eddie pulled a face. 'We're fine,' he said.

'Nothing a five course meal and a week off to recuperate won't cure,' Pippin added.

'Yes, well.' Nathaniel said, repressively. 'I imagine time off will be prescribed in order for you to recover from your ordeal.'

'Yes!'

'_However_, after you've bathed, and had something to eat, it would be helpful if you could get your reports written up before you start your holiday.'

'Holiday!' Pippin exclaimed indignantly.

'I'll expect them in my inbox by tomorrow afternoon.'

'Yes sir,' Eddie and Pippin said in unison.

Superintendent Johnson strode away to inspect the collection of weapons being laid out on the floor. Pippin took Eddie's arm and hustled him out on to the street. 'Ow,' Eddie said, as his muscles protested.

Pippin rolled his eyes. 'Don't be such a big baby.'

'Catch a cab?' Eddie suggested, without much hope.

'Nah, the tube's just round the corner.'

They fell into step. Pippin was strangely quiet. Eddie held out until they were on the train, mostly empty at this time of day, the muted rattling the only background noise.

'What?'

Pippin looked at him innocently. 'What do you mean, what?

'Something's on your mind. Give.'

'I was just thinking,' Pippin said airily.

'And suddenly I'm getting a bad feeling about this.'

'Threesome.'

The little old lady in the corner looked shocked.

'No.'

'No, see, hear me out.'

'No.'

'I figure, sure, not while it's all new and exciting, but – '

'No.'

The train pulled into Charing Cross. Eddie all but leapt out when the door opened, the sudden noise from the platform making it hard to hear Pippin behind him. '…some threesome action…'

Eddie grinned to himself. Pippin was incorrigible. He was also his best friend. 'No,' he said over his shoulder.

Pippin caught up. 'Oh hey, I'm starving. Wanna get a bite to eat before we go in?'

Eddie stopped and clapped a hand on Pippin's shoulder. 'Sure, partner.'


End file.
